Senin, 06 Desember 2010

I am different, but I am afraid

I thought of many things in different ways or perspective from another people. I hate it or dislike it, but people love it. I don’t use make up, I don’t use any jewelry to lighten up my beauty (em, well I am not beautiful but I can’t say “my masculinity”), I don’t use high heels (keep it away from me), I don’t have boyfriend (and not really obsessed with it), I am gross and not stylish. What’s the plus? Nothing, yes that is what people think and at least I think the same way because of their way of looking to myself.

This is what mainly topic where I want to go. I am not that all, I (sometimes) want to be like them all but then I realize I never be so comfort with those all. But again, I don’t want to be just recognized as having different perspective then people go without me. Well, that is what happened to me anytime I try to unveil.
I want to be me with all friends in my surroundings. Sounds winning my ego, but I am sure that is what everybody wants. And it is now again happen to me. It is a very little thing (you think).

Well, I love this new lecturer with all his style, cleverness even let’s say evilness. Though at first he looked so totally trashed! But again, nobody (read: no friends) seems got his appeal, they were all in one, ”WE DON’T WANT THE LECTURER ANYMORE”. Okay, so I said (with my mouth), “yes he is not so good”.
I walk step by step, to make those two different things can stand together and later supporting each other. Well, I am human, I need social life where not every things are mine, but I need my private space.

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