Selasa, 24 Agustus 2010

It's My Name

Have you ever heard this name? Sabilul Ma’arifah Karmidi. Yes, you may laugh when you hear this at the first time. It’s a difficult, rare name of any unique name I have ever heard, I admit it. It is my name, a gift of life for me. When I was kid, even sometimes when I had grown up, I had ever cried anytime I remembered I had this name.

Some questions I often asked to myself:
1. Why did my parents give me this name?
2. Why did my parents think to give me this name?
3. Were my parents in total error when they gave me this name?

You may say I am too drama queen or anything. But I did experience many bad things of carrying this name. I don’t know, maybe it is just my thought, but I do feel it. Especially, anytime I had to start new life in new places where everything is new.

I have a short name, taken from the middle of my name. It’s Ifa, yes an easier name to be spoken, much easier and less weird. But, I can’t always tell everybody that “you can call me Ifa”, because I also meet people in formal condition where Full Name is needed to be told first.

And these are some experiences of my life (with my weird name):

When I was in elementary school, I had ever heard my friends talked like my name is unacceptable. “Iya gue sebenernya bingung tau, kalo mau manggil dia. Abis namanya aneh banget, sabilul coba kan aneh banget. Terus lagi pertama kenalan gue pengen ketawa”. She said this on grade 5, we’ve been knowing each other since 3rd grade.

Million times I saw my name was wrong typed on any form, certificate, students list, and others. Mostly wrote down as Sabibul and when the name was mentioned, I would heard the laugh of mock.

People called me, “Sabilul” but they called on by laughing to other friends, and any mocked attitude.

I had ever hated my name, I had ever hated my parents gave me this name, I admitted it honestly. But it becomes a memory now, I believe there’s always a meaning of something. Why did my parents give me this name?

Sabilul is taken from the word Sabil or Sabilillah means the good way. Sabilillah means the way heading to Allah (muslim’s God). Ma’arifah is from Arif which means wise. My parents lay a hope for me to be a wise person that can decide every single thing based on wisdom. And Karmidi, it’s my father’s name, he put it as my last name because it’s a should (what is the English of Sunnah?).

Yes, I love my name. But I can’t ignore that my name is difficult, strange and rare. I try to understand and I have been kebal of seeing laugh for it. So just call me Ifa, since it is my nick name and it is much easier, isn’t it? Let me enjoy my rare name alone.

But this commit things (ospek komunikasi UI) took my past back, I don’t know why the committees of the ospek have to decide new name for us the freshmen. Yes, it ruined my life, I hate to hear someone says “Hah? Apaan? Kok aneh banget” and I have to spell the words of my name.

1 komentar:

  1. emang nama commit lo akhirnya apa? SAR ga sih lo?